After a year of beginning our teaching careers, we moved to Oconomowoc Wisconsin, where Ilene taught Kindergarten and I taught 7th Grade. Our new country school had recently become part of the Oconomowoc School District and was a wonderful teaching experience for both of us.

After a year, Ilene was expecting our first child and, as many couples did, stayed home to care for our new son. Kevin was born June 3, 1963; a beautiful boy with a loving smile and dark hair. After a couple months, we noticed he seemed very uncomfortable, despite the love and care he received. A doctor informed us he was suffering with a liver condition; cirrhosis. The prognosis was not good, especially in 1963.

Jump ahead to Christmas Eve of that year as we sat in the hospital room with Kevin in an oxygen tent next to us. He silently slipped away from us, his short life coming to an end and our lives in a new, unexpected, unexplored land. This was our first child and now he was gone. We asked ourselves if we could have done more for him, if one or the other did something that caused this. Questions came and went. Then, someone carelessly told us, “Many people separate or divorce after an event like this.” We did not want to hear that and knew that was not what we wanted. We had both loved our little son and knew someday we would have more answers to our questions. Both Ilene and I quietly grieved this loss. We trusted the God who created us and knew He was there for us as our faith became stronger.

This experience taught us that love does not depend on our worldly experiences, but rather on the Truth revealed through His Word and promises. We both looked to Him as He drew us closer, not only to Himself, but to each other. Our focus was on the other person in our marriage, not on ourselves. If our marriage was going to survive, it would be because of our shared faith. Yes, there were challenges in the days ahead, but we moved forward, trusting in His direction and seeking His guidance along the way. (Prov. 3:5) Now, 64 years later, we enjoy the blessings of 3 adult children and 5 grandchildren.

Marriage Advice: Do not expect your spouse to provide for all your needs. Rather, claim the joy of Christ’s Good News in your relationship.