Answering Tough Questions

Answering Tough Questions

Ready for those gender-identity questions?

2023 | Week of February 6 | Radio transcript #1502

How would you react and how would you advise your teen if he or she came home with this news? “At my school 50% of the girls say they are lesbian or identify as boys.”

Or how about this: “A guy came to school today wearing heels, a dress, and make up. I decided out of respect, I should talk to this student using feminine pronouns. He told me, ‘I am not a girl. Just because I am dressed like a girl, doesn’t mean I am one. I am still male and want you to use male pronouns.’”

I didn’t make these stories up. I have heard them from parents whose children go to public schools in our state.

Let’s take this a step further. Pastors, if parents came to you with these stories and wanted help, what would you say? How would you advise these parents?

Living in sexual anarchy isn’t easy for any of us—and it’s getting more challenging every day. Even for—and maybe especially for—Christians. The Bible is very clear on how God created us—male and female—and on personal sexual purity. Sexual expression according to God’s plan is only right and good within the confines of a marriage between one man and one woman.

We long ago culturally jettisoned God’s absolute truths in these areas. That was a choice we collectively made. Funny thing about choices, however. We can have our choice, but what we don’t have any say in is the consequences of our choice. And even if we personally haven’t made poor choices in these areas, we still experience something of the consequences from society’s collective choices.

That’s how you get conversations like the ones I just related. Imagine all of this from a young person’s perspective. If we as adults are struggling to know how to respond to this transgender issue, imagine how difficult it is for a college student, a teen-ager, a middle-schooler, or tragically, an elementary student.

This is not an issue that is going away. Not with the media, Hollywood, the government, and agenda-driven organizations continuing to hard push the lie that gender is whatever a person wants it to be and is not ever settled, but is a continuum with great fluidity, that can change from day to day—or maybe even more frequently.

So how will you answer your child’s sincere questions about this matter, especially if your child is experiencing the consequences in school? Parents, are you prepared to help your son or daughter if they share with you one day that they think they are trapped in the wrong biological sex and want to identify as the opposite sex?

I urge you to not ignore this matter. With so-called “gender identity” quickly becoming the “civil rights” issue of the day and with it being pushed on us and at us seemingly 24/7, to think Christian kids won’t be affected is just wrong. We know they are being impacted by this assault. We are hearing from more and more Christian parents that their sons and daughters are questioning and some doing more than questioning. Some are beginning to live according to what the lie has told them they are.

I’ve talked with parents who are heart-broken about the choices their beautiful children are making—heart-broken because they know the path is not good, that their children will experience pain in so many ways—pain that could be avoided. Parents want the best for their children—and for Christians that means following God’s commands, precepts and principles, which brings blessings.

We don’t pretend to have all the answers. We are working through this just like everyone else. However, we are gathering some resources we hope will help people respond to tough conversations or to answer questions from confused kids. Those resources are available on our website,

At a minimum, we know we must respond in love, with grace and compassion, not with rejection, harshness, or discipline. Jesus didn’t respond that way to people who were honestly seeking or genuinely confused; we must not either. We don’t condone or affirm, but we also don’t condemn or alienate. We offer truth, hope and help.

Just because the world is confused, doesn’t mean we as Christians need to be. If for no other reason than for our children, we must be students of God’s Word, people of much prayer, and astute discerners of Truth and the times.  Like the men of Issachar in I Chronicles 12:32, we too must understand the times and know what we are to do.

For Wisconsin Family Council, this is Julaine Appling reminding you the Prophet Hosea said, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.”

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