How Will You Respond?

2016 | Week of September 19 | #1169

I watched them come into the restaurant in my hometown this past Saturday. One tall, thin young man, accompanied by a shorter young man. They came in hand-in-hand; then, instead of sitting on opposite sides of the table in the booth, they initially sat on the same side, very close together. After a quiet, quick conversation, the taller of the two, got up and moved to the other side.

It was then my early observation was confirmed. The shorter of the two was a boy-man trying to make himself think he was a girl. His hair was cut in a more feminine way than most boys would settle for, and his fingernails and toenails were polished in bright colors. He was dressed in a tank-top and denim shorts that could go either way, but it was his mannerisms that predominantly did the convincing.

I was positioned so that it was really impossible not to see all this without basically turning sideways in my seat. I didn’t stare; but I did keep a discreet eye on what was unfolding 6 feet from me in a very public place.

Not too long after these two young men were seated, the gender-confused young man got up and headed for the restrooms. I didn’t turn around to see which one he used, but I’m pretty confident he used the women’s restroom.

I can’t even remember what I ordered because my mind was spinning. I went through a gamut of emotions as I witnessed this play out right in front of me. As I left the restaurant, I tried to sort it out.

It was obviously 2 young men; both looked male and both definitely had deep male voices. One was trying to look and act like a female. The other was either a homosexual who was interested in and attracted to this other person as a man, or he was more confused than even that if he was a male interested in and attracted to this other person as a female.

No matter how I thought about this scene, nothing made it ok. Nothing about it made sense. It was perverse. It was uncomfortable for me and others. What did eventually come into sharp focus is this: Satan has blinded the eyes of both of these young men. They have bought his lie, and as a result they are sorely confused and are on a path that will eventually lead not to happiness but to despair and hopelessness.

The other sharply focused thought I had was, who was in that restroom when this young man went in, assuming he went into the women’s restroom? I’ve been in this restaurant many times over the years. I’ve many times seen young children go those restrooms by themselves. Was there a young girl in there when this young man went in? I sincerely hope not. Stories are beginning to surface everywhere about young girls in particular being traumatized by having a man in a women’s restroom—and there was nothing about this young man that screamed he was identifying as a female. The outward manifestations were few and subtle. Any young girl would have thought he was a man, not a woman.

As I wrestled with this, I was reminded of a question a mom posed to me a couple of weeks ago. She said her daughter had a female friend who recently announced to this daughter that she was really a male and that this woman’s daughter should not call her by her girl name anymore but by her boy name. The mother’s question: “What should I tell my daughter to do?”

I remember thinking when hearing the question, “Wow. That’s one I hadn’t predicted.” Fortunately, this lady’s pastor was present and between the two of us we gave a reasonable answer.

So what’s the point of relating these real-life stories? The point is this issue of gender identity and the normalization of things unnatural is coming to you, your family, your neighborhood, your public school, your church. What will you do? How will you answer the questions your children ask? How will you teach your children to act in not just uncomfortable, but maybe even threatening or very privacy-invading situations? What precautions will you take to safeguard your children—and, ladies, even yourself?  How will you interact with someone who is biologically one sex but is trying to be the other? How will you speak the truth in love?

We’re compiling what we hope will be helpful some resources for parents and churches. Those resources are on our website at We are also encouraging women to visit and tell your story if you have been personally impacted by this social experiment.

The Bible tells us we are to be salt and light, we’re to be ready to give an answer to everyone who asks an answer for the hope we have and we’re to speak the truth in love. On this issue of gender identity are you prepared to do this? By God’s grace, we all need to be.

For Wisconsin Family Council, this is Julaine Appling reminding you the prophet Hosea said, “My people are destroyed. for lack of knowledge.”

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